FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
