whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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