true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
