omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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