Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
