Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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