The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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