you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
