gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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