yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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