did you get engaged???
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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