He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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