We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
