As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
