I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
