i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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