seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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