Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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