You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
