you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
