You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
