Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
