hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
false alarm, still single
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