I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
