I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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