I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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