if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
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I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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