508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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