I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
