it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
