Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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