Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
