I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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