The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I skipped work to stalk him.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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