Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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