i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
