How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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