I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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