This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
