I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
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