good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
