i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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