he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
