My nipple is on Facebook.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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