True but thats because hes a fetus.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
