OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
