sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
