Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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