thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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