It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
