Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
