I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
