I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
