Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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