I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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