I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Randomize
