I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
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Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
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A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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