Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
