How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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