If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
