i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
a search helicopter?!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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