It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i now understand why vodka
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
