I hope mine doesn't look like that
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
can u get pink eye on your cock?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Your topless pictures make me question reality
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
