i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
My balls are so social today.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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