Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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