Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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