Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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